Wave

Ever have a wave of emotions and thoughts wash over you? I do. Some so strong. About things that matter. That mean a lot to me.

Usually about our daughter.

Happened today. I was alone with my thoughts for a moment and I could feel it. My brain and my heart went into hyper drive/visionary mode.

I felt so much. Anticipation of what is to come. Sadness that it is far off. Anger that nothing has gone as according to plan. Eagerness. Want.

Gripped my heart. I felt my heart beat faster.

I saw so much. I could see things…phone calls happening. Photos. Announcements. Plane rides. Heck…even pics of me and her on Facebook.

I see others with their kids on there and I want to be like that. I want to share. To shout it from the rooftops.

Then it passes. Heart beat returns to normal. But those feelings linger…

They are always there but sometimes they resurge and burst to the surface. Sometimes the good ones. Sometimes the bad ones.

I have had our daughter on my mind a lot recently. At the forefront of my thoughts as she is never far from my thoughts. Must be because of my bracelet.

Thanks to everyone for your sweet words of encouragement.

I did not lose the bracelet in a way that I can try and retrace my steps and search for it. I know exactly where it is and how I lost it. I was on the lake on Saturday at the cottage and in the kayak. Hub’s step-cousins were in the pedal boat. In a moment of horse play, one cuz lifted the front of my kayak and I tipped. I was fully dressed and so had all my bracelets, earrings and flip flops on. I have never tipped in the kayak and so when I jumped in I did not change. Had I gone in the canoe…I would have been in my suit “toute suite” as that is tippy. When I hit the water, I immediately felt the bracelet slip off my hand and fall further down. I could not grab it and was completely freaked to say the least. My wonderful, amazing, awesome hubs who will not go in the lake unless it is a million degrees out and is melting, got into his suit and googled up and searched for it. Could not find it.

I am not angry at anyone except myself. Crappy lesson learnt…always take it off whenever near water. It was an accident and it happens. But I am really sad. I know it is bracelet but it held a lot of meaning for me. I had visions of giving to my daughter one day. Of me wearing it everyday until we are with her. Maybe wearing it again if we decided to have another go at adoption after this long round of battle finishes. Of sharing the sentiment behind it and how I felt wearing it everyday while we waited for her. Now that tangible piece to pass on is sitting at the bottom of our lake. It may seem silly to cry over a bracelet. But I did. I grieved. I retreated and felt different. Tried to not allow it to be a harbinger of what may occur. Not a sign. Just a stupid fluke. But nevertheless, I am sad.

I know I can share everything the same. I realize that now but I still miss having that tangible piece with me.

Hubs is adamant that he is going to do everything he can to get it back for me. I love him even more then I already do because he gets me and gets all the little things that may be silly but are important to me. He has a colleague who is a scuba diver and is going to ask her to come up north and look for it.

I (sadly) do not hold out much hope. I guess this wait and roller coaster has tarnished my shiny optimism.

We just have to hold on and let whatever size waves come, wash over us and keep waiting.

GA In Review

Miss T made this awesome video recap of the fab weekend in GA. It was a fun time and I am so happy that I got to meet these amazing ladies in person and get to spend time with them. Pug Mama and Big Daddy, you are wonderful hosts and thank you so much for opening your beautiful home and hosting us crazy group of gals.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

3 Words

What is this?
Sum up your week in three little words.“You can sing it, you can say it, you can write it, you can draw it. It can be funny or sad or poignant as long as it’s honest.” 3 words to sum up your week - posted in any form you chose. Video, picture, etc....get as creative as you want. We will do it on Sundays, that way you will have had enough time to think about how you want to sum up your week.

This bracelet holds special meaning to me. See here for what I wrote about it in 2007 & 2006.

Pinata Pinafore GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Pinata Pinafore GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Pinata Pinafore GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Saw this on Susie`s blog. Cool beans!

Pinata Pinafore GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Georgia on my mind

Home again. Happy to be here. Sad to be away from the ladies. Y'all made me laugh and smile. I am tuckered out but it was SO worth it.

Hitting the road...

Hitting the friendly skies Thursday morning and heading down south.

Beyond excited!

Watch out...one half of the Crazy Canucks is on her way!!!

3 Words & Need your advice!!!

What is this?
Sum up your week in three little words.“You can sing it, you can say it, you can write it, you can draw it. It can be funny or sad or poignant as long as it’s honest.” 3 words to sum up your week - posted in any form you chose. Video, picture, etc....get as creative as you want. We will do it on Sundays, that way you will have had enough time to think about how you want to sum up your week.

We ordered our changing table this week. That completes the furniture purchases for the baby's room. Not sure why but we both felt the urge to shop for this and buy this last item this past week. Looking forward to having it up and looking even more forward to having a little butt to wipe.

I need your photo bloggy opinion. I am in the market to buy an SLR and I am not sure what to buy. I have seen such gorgeous pictures on all your blogs and I am really excited about taking my own pictures with my new toy. But the question is...which one do I buy? Please, please, please...share your opinions, advice, handy helpful hints...